It’s official, we’ve launched Part One of the series (if you some how missed the video on the homepage, go back and take a look). We need your help to get the word out.

1. If you haven’t joined our Facebook fan page, click here to do so and definitely invite all of your friends!

2. Follow our director on Twitter to get updates on when Part Two will be released and future episode themes (if you have any suggestions, DM her)

3. Share the video on your blog (do a post on what’s your opinion on the topic), tweet about it on Twitter, send it out as an email to your friends, and/or post it to your Facebook profile. (After the video finishes, the various share options are available for your choosing).

Thanks for ALLLLLL of your support during this process.

Looking forward to releasing Part Two,

The Bi-deology Project Production Team

With four days to go before the official premiere and online launch of The Bi-deology Project: Part one, I wanted to take the opportunity to welcome you to our new website. First and foremost, I must thank our web designer, Lidia Anain, for a much needed, beautiful upgrade. We hope the site reflects the vibrancy and uniqueness of our topic and encourage you to visit the About section and read through Our Blog to get a feel for how the project has developed. In addition, we are finally on Facebook! So scroll down and look on the right to click and become a Fan. I will be tweeting with new developments on the documentary series, production process, and screenings that might be happening in your area, so follow me to keep up!

Thank you for all of your support from the time that The Bi-deology Project was just a idea and an intriguing personal experience to becoming a documentary series that is inciting stronger conversations about sexuality.

We look forward to continuing the journey with you. See you back here launch day, April 21st!

Much love & gratitude,

Arielle Loren

Director

The Bi-deology Project team is in the midst of production. We should have a trailer of the documentary for you in a few weeks. Some amazing new partners have signed on to help out including New York University’s Center for Multicultural and Educational Programs and NYU’s LGBT center. Not to mention the wonderful support we have received from women across the nation, like you, who are rooting for us in the background.

We’re also going to redesign the website a bit AND (ok this is exciting) have t-shirts!

In the meantime, excuse our silence.

Much love from,

TBP Editors & Production Team

Isadora Alman is a California licensed marriage and relationship therapist, a Board certified sexologist, and a syndicated sex and relationship columnist. Her “Ask Isadora” column has been running for over 25 years. When I first put out a call for stories from self-identified straight women to tell their stories about dating MSMs (men sleeping with men), Isadora was one of the first women to respond. In her own words, “Several of the most important loves of my life have been gay or bisexual men.” She recounts her experiences loosely through Thea, the main character in her fictional novel Bluebirds of Impossible Paradises, which is available on Kindle.

Alman addresses an intriguing era of sexual exploration and experimentation in California and the abrupt end the AIDS crisis gave to this alternative community. It’s a recommended read…and P.S. you might catch Alman in The Bi-deology Project documentary…only time will tell

Amazon Reviews:

“I met Isadora in the 1980s, which is why I was so looking forward to this book. She’s the most fascinating and sensual woman I’ve ever met and I always wondered what she was like before we crossed paths. While this is a novel and not an autobiography, I figured there must be a little (or a lot) of Isadora in Thea, our heroine. So how can Thea not be charming and literate and funny. For anyone who lived and loved through the 1970s … or wants to know what it was like to live and love through the 1970s … read this book! You’ll live it and love it.” Tom Greensmith “Tommy G”

“Ah, honesty is not only the best policy but is also the unalloyed coin of the realm in artistic expression. And honesty rings through these pages with the musical sounds of human truth. It is impossible not to get caught up in the heroine’s life and to follow her adventures with somewhat bated breath. One is astonished by her bravery, her appetites and her drive to understand herself and what she wants from, and means by, love If you were there in the seventies you will recognize the spirit. If you weren’t there the sexual freedom is limned by a caring hand and her adventures will open your mind to the many different pathways one can follow to find love. In a very real way AIDS wrote an end to open sexuality so this may be a record of a bygone era. Cheers for the author.” Morton Chalfy

“I moved to SF long after the AIDS destroyed this free-love community, and it was fascinating to read about this time when parking and sex were easy. Alman makes it magical. Before mainstream folks like me learned SF was hip, it was populated by the hippest of the hip who, in Alman’s telling, truly created alternative communities that were women-friendly, queer-friendly, sex-friendly, drug-friendly, and all around friendly. Through it all, Thea is looking for love, and most of the other characters are, too, but it’s a kind of love that can be fulfilled in many capacities. Characters connect deeply through conversation, through sensuality, and through sex without obligation and as if the lines between man & woman, straight & gay, friend & lover didn’t exist. It’s heartbreaking to see this story from the inside, from a woman’s perspective, and see how much love and affection Thea has for her gay friends and lovers, and realize the joy the author takes in immortalizing what must be fictionalized real people in this book, yet read always with this hovering shadow of the plague that is to come. What if AIDs had never happened? Would these folks have created a healthy alternative community that works better than ours? Alman creates a lovable character and captures a time I wish I had seen.” J. Quirk “book fan”

Sorry, we had a holiday week and took a break from blogging, BUT we have one of our best, most interesting stories for you today. (we think it makes up for the break). The story, as usual, is a real testimony, written by the female author herself, but in particular, this author gave me permission to use real pictures in the post. And I think you’d agree, they’re amazing!

Happy Monday! Enjoy the story!

Sexually it was completely normal. He’d never been with a girl before but everyone manages to work it out I think he was better than most straight guys in that department, potentially because he is more emotionally involved and more concerned about whether I am happy.

Warning: Ok, so we’ve gotten some great responses (as I mentioned before). All of these are true stories and each woman has her own experience. To continue with our Monday Anthologies series: one woman recounted  her marriage and her husband’s suspicious activities.

Read her story

Mine WAS and IS in the closet. We were married. He has not even admitted he has homosexual encounters.  I only “know” about it because I found some suspicious emails and he told me they were just fantasies he never acted out on.  After we separated, the lightbulb went off: the missing overnights, the mysterious walks, the pathological lies, the missing money, the picking of the fights, the refusing of sex.  etc etc.

I believe he is a basically heterosexual man that is a sex addict because of past sexual abuse (not admitted to).  My hunch is he has mostly anonymous or risky thrill sex of domination with men and he truly really abhorrently hates women but is primarily attracted to them–what a dilemma!  I also suspect narcissistic personality disorder after many many months of research and recovery.  He is the product of a single mom smothering and a missing rejecting father.

This type of man never had true feelings and was never actually present in our relationship.  It is very disorienting to be involved with a person like that.

I am recovered and moved on but scarred as they are true jeckyll and hyde personalities and you can never know what is true around them.

doozy!

When I first thought of starting this project, I reached out to straight women who have dated bisexual men through an amazing site called HARO. The responses I got were pretty phenomenal, it seemed that women all had different opinions ranging from the extreme positive to the absolute negative, and at times somewhere in between. Some of these women will be featured in the documentary; however, I am posting their responses in anonymous fashion to protect their privacy (since not everyone will be in the documentary) and to keep the suspense for when you finally get to see the doc!

I’ll be posting responses like this every Monday under the theme of “Monday Anthologies.” Hope you enjoy and be sure to leave your comments.

The last 6 months of my life have been life-changing, ideology-breaking, and mentally transforming. And if you asked me in June 2009, if I would be speaking to other women and making a documentary about dating/being in relationships bisexual men, I probably would have laughed and told you “No, not my path, not my thing.” To start:

I fell in love (unknowingly) with a bisexual man

I just want to put that out there, so all of you reading are aware and know where I am coming from. And, just to be up front, my academic education has focused in Gender & Sexuality, which definitely has influenced the way that I have processed the situation.

I met Rich* doing community work for a large civil rights organization in the United States. Under normal circumstances (aka in a social/party setting), he wouldn’t have been my type. I’m into tall, brown skin to dark skin, well-spoken, conscious men. Rich definitely was well spoken, educated, and brown-skin…just a little on the short side. Nevertheless, his intellectual talents and ability to organize college students lead me to want him on my Executive board and that lead to a wonderful friendship. I’m not writing this to defame him or focus on the negative:

He was an amazing friend, a remarkable supporter, and one of the best people who has entered my life. We connected in ways indescribable.

I’m sure many of you have experienced a “friendship” that wasn’t really a “friendship.” That was us. We would walk through DC together, fingerlaced, hand in hand. We’d attend events as each other’s date. He’d introduce me at speaking engagements, I’d introduce him. And we’d always stare at each other, in private and in public, just a little too long. He’d finish my sentences, I’d finish his. He’d introduce me to his mother and I’d introduce him to some members of my family. I’d travel the world, he’d write me sweet emails and I’d send him loving post cards. And all of this, like any normal person would cause sincere confusion when he revealed that he had been living, openly with his “gay identity” for “quite some time now.”

Really? That’s funny because you forgot to mention that over the year you were courting me. I was devastated, in love, and, most of all, confused. Did you really like me or was I just your beard? He replied that yes, he did have feelings for me and he couldn’t explain why because he typically wasn’t in to women. You’re not typically into women, but you describe yourself as “bisexual”? Silence.

I concluded this. Sexuality is simply not black and white. Its not cut and dry. And not everyone will be able to explain their preferences in socially “logical” terms. Unfortunately, Rich has remained silent and unable to confront the situation, in all, his silence has been a blessing. I began speaking with other women about dating a bisexual man, one because I wanted to know if I was crazy for considering it, and secondly I was curious to see if it had been successfully done. Actually, it had! But, unfortunately, (not in my own research), I have encountered a lot of women in the media that have told their stories of being hurt by the secrecy. That is the story of the mainstream, and it is important to note, but this documentary isn’t about that. (Sorry to disappoint those hoping for another “down low” man bashing film).

The women that I have spoken to are from all ethnic and racial backgrounds. They live all over the country. And, they all have different experiences. Some of them would recommend dating a bisexual man and others would not. But all of the women, would not delete the experience from their life. It really does shape you and teach you a lot.

With that said, I hope you enjoy our journey over the next year leading to the release of the documentary. This blog will be our commentary headquarters and as more press continues to pick our story up, you can say, you were here when it started.

Much love,

Arielle Loren

*All names have been changed for privacy purposes

The Director must be crazy. Only insane people would think to do a documentary on straight women who have experienced relationships with bisexual men. Yes, the topic is real and the women are out there, ready to tell their stories. In fact, we are stocked for at least the next month with stories to tell. Everything on this blog comes from real people with real experiences. We only change the name for privacy purposes.

There will be no holding back in the film or on this blog. From the sex to the conversations, you will hear it all.

Brace yourselves…we look forward to having this journey with you.

TBP Editors